angels/rulin's
a few words from your friend doing her best to exist as a woman and worker in the sunny land of San Jose!
You may have noticed, no blog last week! This is because I was visiting my best friend in the world, Abigail Julieanne Stadtlander, in her new home in Santa Barbara. Two California girls trying to make their way in the world! Needless to say, we had the best, most dreamy time anyone could hope for. Sunburned, full of pizza and tacos and ice cream and chocolate, sand in our hair, laughing, sunset-watching, sneaking into fancy resorts to use the bathroom, and soaking up every second of togetherness. Magic times.
And then, after this magic time, I had to drive home??? RUDE?? There is no worse feeling in the world than driving away from the person you love. Flying away in an airplane is okay because it sort of feels like ripping off a band-aid. But hugging someone (usually your best friend), and then getting in the car and driving away? Alone? In a car on the gross freeway? Major torture. The only two times I've really cried since being in California have been in such situations, first dropping off my parents at the airport and second half way through my drive to San Jose last Monday!
God and I then proceeded to have a very frank chat on highway 101, stuck in traffic outside Gilroy, California, the garlic capital of the world (no joke) because some genius decided to do construction on Labor Day. There is something about leaving one of the few people in the world who make you feel so completely at peace, and so completely known, that results in a suffocating and profound sense of loneliness. As I wept and let God know exactly how unhappy I was to be going back to the place God has asked me to go, a black shimmer in the fields to my left caught my eye. A flock of birds was flying, boldly and beautifully, as a group, in patterns... I'm not sure how to describe it except that it seemed to be almost magical, ethereal even, and the only birds I had seen the entire drive. Then, in the angel-way birds always seem to appear in my life (see: introductions page for more on me and birds and angels), two sparrows flew in front of me, like they were part of the wind, like they were riding the current. And, in the message that angels always carry, a faint whisper in my heart: fear not. My thoughts then, not unlike the birds, followed the wind-or the Spirit- to Mary, Mother of God, a woman who had every reason to fear, and instead, sang. Mary's willingness to let the Spirit of God literally inhabit her body and change every single thing about her life baffles me daily. Oh Spirit, may my body be as willing as Mary's! May I learn to say "yes" in such a way!
After the birds, I called a kindred spirit of mine who lives in Chicago, able to connect briefly before her rehearsal. As she so often is able, she picked up on my distress immediately and suggested that I read Thursday's post on our favorite blog, Synchronized Swim. As I mentioned in my last post, two Workout alumni women I admire very much co-author this blog, and although I don't read it as often as I would like, I am constantly inspired by their writing. Thursday's post (of which can be found here: http://www.synchronized-swim.com/2018/08/30/rulins-pt-3), is mostly made up of a collection of what they call "Rulin's," or Rules For Life, inspired by a list by Woody Guthrie, and consisting of short reminders to help us all take "another step towards paying attention and actively participating in our own lives," as Jess puts it. The post includes lists of various length from people across the country. Another kindred friend's list is included on the post and, after reading hers, I decided I must write my own.
I want to, each day, learn how to say "yes" like Mary did so long ago, as God reminded me on the highway. And I think saying "yes" can be big things like moving your whole self to San Jose all alone, but I think it can also be all these small things and small steps we take to be functional human beings who love God and commit to living life actively. It's like in yoga, when the instructor takes you through each body part so you're aware of it, and you find that even though you're just standing, you're active. So, in an attempt to be an active participant in my own life (thanks, Jess, for that phrase- I'm loving it), and say bold "yes's," here are my Rulin's, some my own and some taken from other lists that I want to adopt as well. Maybe sometime I will write a blog post that doesn't include a list, but honestly, seems doubtful.
Alyssa, age 22, San Jose
Practice saying yes to the Spirit living inside your body.
Remember the power of that Spirit, and believe.
Trust the process.
Sing often, especially when afraid.
Be humble.
Be gentle.
Be patient (with God, others, yourself).
Bear with one another in love.
Commit!
Watch sunsets even if they are at dinner time.
Drink more water.
Go to yoga each week.
Read poetry every day.
Write what you want to write. Period.
Eat slowly.
Breathe deeply, often, and intentionally.
Listen to more Bach.
Play piano.
Create creative spaces.
Read plays aloud, make theater for yourself.
Make art!
Cook because you like to cook!
Open shoulders daily.
Dance uninhibitedly, even though you don't know how!
Look for abundance.
Cultivate an adventurous spirit.
Buy flowers often.
Love lavishly (God, others, yourself)
Write more letters.
Practice boldness.
Stay unashamedly soft.
Read real paper books instead of words on a screen.
Leap often, even if you can't see where you will land.
Keep the hoping machine running.
Hold fast to your convictions.
Find gladness in resilience.
Fling open the windows, let the breeze rustle your feathers.
Listen first, imagine the story.
Advocate.
Wake up and think of Jesus before looking at a screen.
Remember.
Laugh often.
Cry often.
Don't beat yourself up for not being able to cry.
Call family.
Call best friends.
Do your dishes!
Hug generously.
Pet Bandit.
Embrace uncomfort.
Invite others while waiting for your own invitation.
Relax your jaw.
Show yourself friendly.
Ask questions.
Practice trusting your instincts.
Pray without ceasing.
Protest despair, carry joy.
Stop picking your nail beds.
Bring the angels if you need a friend.
Look for one good thing a day; resist believing you failed.
Ask when you need help.
Work towards increasing your vocabulary.
Cease self-conscious attitudes about things you write and say being too long or too much.
Practice vulnerability.
Listen to the birds and believe in angels, always.
Until next week,
Alyssa